Waynesburg U holds Out of the Darkness Walk
Three years after his father’s suicide, the pain hasn’t lessened for Dylan Ashley.
“Grief is a difficult subject to wrap your mind around,” said Ashley, a Waynesburg University pre-physical therapy freshman. “One second you’re OK, and the littlest thing can trigger everything.”
His father, a 30-year military veteran, hadn’t been the same after retirement, Ashley said. The aftermath has been hard for his whole family. Being away from them at college has also been tough, said Ashley, who grew up in Williamstown, W. Va.
But it’s also put him near people, like his girlfriend, who understand. And Saturday, he was surrounded by people who had either gone through something similar, or were willing to support those who had.
“This really puts everyone in a relatively uncomfortable position, but for good reason, and it’s great,” he said. “It just makes you talk about it, and just puts you out there so you have to think about it. There’s no way you can ignore it and just put it away.”
Waynesburg University held its eighth annual Out of the Darkness Walk March 29. The program is part of the national Out of the Darkness movement, which launched in 2004 as a way to raise awareness and reduce the stigma around talking about suicide.
Waynesburg’s walk was originally launched by a student who’d participated in one in Pittsburgh and felt it was needed on campus, said Adrienne Tharp, assistant dean of student development and co-chair of the walk.
“I just think it’s a great event for students to just have fun and know that they aren’t alone, and that there’s people on campus and off campus that are here for them,” Tharp said.
The university offers counseling services, as well as faith-based resources through the campus ministry office, Tharp said. Student groups such as the Gender and Sexuality Alliance also offer support.
At the Marisa Fieldhouse beforehand, about 15 university and community groups set up booths where people could make art or learn about programs to help those in need.
The walk had raised more than $1,300 for the Western Pennsylvania chapter of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, which organizes nine campus walks and five community walks annually.
The group directs people to important resources, and advocates for issues at the state and federal level. It also puts on educational programs, ranging from general talks to ones targeted to groups such as LGBTQ community and occupations with high suicide rates such as mining and construction work.
It’s a pressing issue at the college level, where suicide is the second most common cause of death for people aged 18 to 22, said Doug Bishop, treasurer for the chapter’s board of directors.
“It’s important to get that awareness out here,” he said. “Also to break the stigma of mental health, get people to talk about it.”
Saturday’s walk was also a way to let people see someone they knew – their next-door neighbor, or a teammate – had lost someone, or had difficulties of their own, Clark said.
People could pick up necklaces from a booth near the entrance with colors indicating the ways suicide has affected them: green for a personal struggle or attempt, orange for loss of a sibling, or teal for supporting someone who has attempted suicide or struggled with suicidal thoughts.
Allen Miller lost his son, Nygel, to suicide, as well as a nephew. He’s spent the five years since his son’s death receiving support from the local community, and reaching out to help others who might encounter tough situations.
Miller, the senior help desk analyst at Waynesburg University, is one of the founders of Team HOPE, a suicide awareness and prevention group in Greene County, and a coordinator for Together with Veterans, a federal suicide preventino program for rural veterans.
He’d gotten support from the university’s soccer team and the basketball team. And on Wednesday, the university softball team will play its fourth annual suicide awareness game, Angels in the Outfield, which was launched after Nygel’s death.
He also speaks about his experience to groups, from first responders to athletic teams.
His message: It’s normal to feel alone. And it’s also normal to talk about those feelings with other people.
No matter how someone might be feeling about themselves at a given moment, they still matter, he said.
“If you ever feel that way, please get the help that you need, because you matter more than you’ll ever know, and the people you leave behind will be in pain for the rest of their lives,” he said. “You always matter.”
After hearing Ashley’s story before the walk, Miller brought him over to help carry the banner at the front of Saturday’s procession.
“I think in a way, I made my dad proud,” Ashley said. “I wasn’t really expecting to do all this today, but I feel like if it was flipped with me and my dad, I feel like he would have done the same thing.”