Periods are part of growing up
Q. Why don’t I have a period yet? I live with my gram, and she’s old so I can’t ask her. My friend goes to a different school than me and they had a class in school about periods, but my school doesn’t. I have so many questions? Why do people have periods anyway? My friend says they hurt. Is that true? My friend says I will need to use a tampon. Is that true? Tampons scare me. I don’t know where they go. When will it happen? What if I’m at school? So scary. – 12-year-old
Mary Jo’s Response: Periods are about growing up. Having a period means your body is healthy and working and preparing to possibly be a mother someday. I’m happy to answer all your questions and glad you asked me. I do think you should give your gram a chance. She may be wiser than you think. It’s helpful to have someone in your life who can answer questions.
First, periods happen when your body is ready. Each person is different, so you won’t start a period the same time as your friends; you will start at the right time for you. Periods are part of puberty, along with your feet growing really fast, developing breasts, having a smaller waist, and pubic hair (hair on your bottom, called a vulva – more about that later). The name for having a period is menstruation or the menstrual cycle (because the whole process repeats itself), but most people simply say “period.” You can track your periods once they start on a calendar or using an app. Tracking can help you guess when the next period will begin.
Let’s talk about bodies. Here are some important body parts connected to becoming a mother: A uterus is the muscle in your abdomen where a baby grows if pregnancy starts. Pregnancy might happen when a person has vaginal sex. The ovaries – two of them – are the size of an almond and are on either side of the uterus. There are also two Fallopian tubes. The opening at the bottom of the uterus is called the cervix. It opens into the vagina, which ends in the vulva (the outside of your body, between your legs). Knowing the right names for these body parts is an important part of growing up. It’s OK to talk about them with trusted adults like your gram. These body parts are not “dirty” unless you do not wash!
Inside your body, your uterus grows as you grow. When you were born, your ovaries contained all the tiny ova (eggs) your body would use to make babies. At puberty (which typically happens between 8 and 15 years of age), those eggs mature. The average age for a first period is 12. The hormones in your body give instructions to your ovaries to release an egg every cycle. This is called ovulation. Ovulation signals your uterus to prepare for “maybe a baby.” The lining of the uterus, called the endometrium, thickens like a cushion so a baby can grow there over the 40 weeks of pregnancy. If pregnancy doesn’t start, the lining leaves the uterus through the vagina. This causes bleeding, which is healthy bleeding, and is not dangerous. The menstrual cycle is this repeated ovulation/menstruation, over and over, typically every 28 days. The actual period lasts three to five days. The body menstruates every cycle, even if a person doesn’t want to have a baby.
Yes, you do need to use some type of feminine hygiene product, like a sanitary napkin (pad), a menstrual cup, or a tampon. You don’t need to use a tampon unless you choose to use one. There are videos that show how to use tampons, and you can also talk to your gram or another trusted adult for help. I taught classes on growing up for decades, starting in 1984. I always gave my students tampons and cups of water so they could figure them out.
There are a lot of strange myths about periods. When I was a child, I was told I couldn’t wash my hair during my period. That is totally untrue. Staying clean during your period is important. You can shower and you certainly can wash your hair!
Your questions are good ones. I suggest you ask your gram to buy you some pads. Try them on – they stick to your underwear. Pack a few pads in your backpack so you have one at school. If you start your period at school for the first time, you can use the pad to stay clean.
Some people experience abdominal (belly) cramping during periods, but these feelings should not hurt a lot. Tell your pediatrician if you’re uncomfortable.
Periods are part of life and should not stop you from having fun or playing sports. If you want to swim during your period, you will need to use a tampon.
Growing up can be scary, but it’s part of life. You’ve got this!
Have a question? Send it to Dr. Mary Jo Podgurski’s email podmj@healthyteens.com.